Resident Evil and Final Fantasy VII Crossover
by Yuffie.K
Summary: This a pretty weird dream I had... so if it seems stupid, don't blame me


  
This is a really weird dream I had (, I swear!) I'm Yuffie, and Tifa, Cloud, and Cid were in my house, and some how some zombies from Resident Evil barged in……  
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I yawned and flicked off the TV. Tifa, Cloud, Cid and I were lounging in my living room and we had just finished watching some dumb TV show which we regretted watching. Suddenly, we all bolted upright. A kind of feeling had just washed over us, and some how, we knew trouble was coming. I had a mental image of lighting bolts (tension) frizzling the air. As we were weaponless, we all grabbed kitchen knives and got into our battle stances.  
  
Just at that moment, five zombies broke down the door. Two immediately rushed in, and the three I confronted were my parents and a slightly insane looking old lady in a wheelchair. I killed my parents first by stabbing them - I had no choice, They were zombies! Don't label me as a maniac! - But as I was doing so, the crazy looking old lady almost bit me. I resisted the urge to scream, and grabbed a hammer and smashed it through her skull. Her whole head caved in. I mean, totally caved in. I was so shocked that I stood stock still for a minute.   
  
I then rejoined the AVALANCHE members. They had just killed the other two zombies, and looked rather shocked too. I think they've never seen zombies before. They weren't supposed to - zombies appeared at Resident Evil, not Final Fantasy VII. For some dumb reason, we knew it wasn't over. And it wasn't. The King of Zombies lumbered in through the door. Were we so stupid as to leave it open, or was it we were too shocked? But who cares! The King of Zombies was in my living room!  
  
The K.o.Z. was at least three to five meters tall, his head barely scrapping the ceiling. He looked like a goddamned giant who came down from the beanstalk after Jack. Or was it the King of Zombies after Cid, Tifa, Cloud and me? I can't see the difference. Anyway, it swaggered past all of us to the balcony, and started to remove a lot of bamboo poles from there. We were under the impression that it was building a coffin on the dining table with the bamboo poles.   
  
I slipped three pencils out of my pencil box. I plan to throw them and spear the K.o.Z. - after all, I was Yuffie, wasn't I? The rest of the AVALANCHE members were trying to stab the monstrous hunk of moving dead flesh, but the he kept turning around randomly, catching us off guard. For some idiotic reason, (maybe because it was building it's coffin), it didn't try to make a move towards us.  
  
I launched the first pencil. It missed. I left the other pencils in my pocket and whipped out my knife. The K.o.Z. had pushed passed all of us and was heading towards my dining table with its load of bamboo poles to build its coffin. We followed it fearfully. When it had reached the table and was building the coffin, back facing us, we dare not even stab it. It went to lie down into his 'nest' and for some reason, Cloud and Cid's knives became a shotgun and a magnum respectively and they fired at the coffin. It exploded, and the K.o.Z with it. Cloud and Cid high-fived.   
  
We all dropped our weapons and ran up to my bedroom upstairs, which had a state-of-art PC at my desk. We had just step in when a Licker suddenly dropped down from my bedroom ceiling, blocking our only exit. We all screamed, even the guys. You must admit, a Licker looks horrible. This skinless mutant has a constantly flicking long tongue and can drop down from ceilings as a nasty surprise for anyone unlucky enough to meet one.  
  
Cloud suddenly said that Lickers wouldn't be attracted to fear, and we were as dumb as to believe him. How could he have known about Lickers was a total mystery to me. Anyway, being dumb as we were, the four of us jumped into my large bed, close our eyes, and pulled the blanket over our heads. We tried to keep our fear out, which was difficult, given the circumstances.  
  
In this ever so stupid world, I could feel what the Licker was thinking. He was prowling on the blanket, smelling and trying to feel if we were afraid. He thought that we were not appetizing, not appetizing at all. It was just about to leave when Cloud once again suddenly jumped up and said," Chocobus can talk to Lickers!" and turned me into one big, fat, Chocobu! I jumped up and warked angrily. I knew I wasn't well liked in AVALANCHE, but did he have to do this to me? I could have told him what the damn Licker was thinking!  
  
The Licker looked curious (if a Licker can look curious) and said in thought speak to me ~ I'm not hungry, and anyway, you all are not appetizing at all. ~ I want to scream " I KNOW, YOU STUPID CREATURE!!!", but for the safety of my friends, I said a very stupid sentence ~ Can you help us get some teabags? ~ Do you believe it said ~sure!~?  
  
It went to get the teabags, and we were about to escape when it came back with the teabags in it's mouth. I immediately jumped on him and slashed him with my chocobu claws. " Wow." Tifa said. "Is it dead?" Just as I was about to proclaim my chocobu victory over the Licker's death with a series of warks, the Licker slid under the door and appeared right in front of me!  
  
It launched itself onto me. ~ I thought you were my friend! ~ it said (Which is a pretty unexpected thing for a Licker to say.) I shifted myself and narrowly avoided being Licker meat. However, it chased me all over the room, never giving a regard for the other AVALANCHE members there. "Cloud, if I ever get out of this alive, I'm gonna skin you!" I thought. The Licker chose this moment to jump towards me. I warked in panic, I knew I'm not going to survive.  
  
At this moment, (guess what?) I woke up in cold sweat, and stopped being Yuffie the Licker's chocobu dinner.  
  
P.S. I know this is pretty lame, but I have to narrate my dream as it happened!  
  
  
  
  



End file.
